Sh*t Republican candidates say

The Republican presidential candidates debate in Manchester, New Hampshire. From left: Jon Huntsman, Ron Paul, Mitt Romney, Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich and Rick Perry.

The Guardian:

I thought I had a potty mouth, but you should hear the way this GOP field talks. For starters, they're obsessed with sex…

Let's start with Rick Santorum.

Now, aside from believing same-sex marriage leads to man-on-dog sex, (yes, it has gotten so insane that claiming same-sex marriage leads to man-on-dog sex has been relegated to an aside), Sick Rantorum also believes contraception is pubic enemy No 1:

One of the things I will talk about, that no president has talked about before, is I think the dangers of contraception in this country. It's not OK. It's a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.

Huh, I always thought the only thing sex was supposed to be was consensual. I will say, however, we may see an uptick in abstinence across the board if this sweater-vested Puritan with breeding hips keeps incessantly prattling on about it.

And Rick Perry, the poor dear.

This Dollar Store version of George Bush just keeps trying. He doesn't want the gays getting hitched, OR serving in the military. I mean, it is called the Strait of Hormuz, after all. But Rick has really got his manties in a wad over teaching the theory of evolution in schools.

I am a firm believer in intelligent design as a matter of faith and intellect, and I believe it should be presented in schools alongside the theories of evolution.

It's a theory that's out there. It's got some gaps in it. In Texas, we teach both creationism and evolution.

Yes, he prefers the fact-based "snake convinces the bad lady to eat the apple" story. I'm starting to thing he doesn't believe in evolution because it simply passed him by.

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